January 5, 2013

• Take me home

  

  I’ll screw up. I’ll push you away if we’re getting too close. I won’t trust you until you’ve proven yourself. I get hurt easily and take a lot of things personally. But I’ll love you with everything I have, and if that isn’t enough, then I’m not enough.

  
  
  
  

  Life is a roller coaster. You can either scream every time you hit a bump or you can throw your hands up in the air and enjoy it.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  The thing about you is you’re fun. You make me laugh and you make me feel more alive. Okay, you make me a little crazy sometimes, but these are the moments in my mind. Crystal clear images of you and I and how we fit together, and it all just makes such perfect sense. I know what I want. I want to spend all of my time with you.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  Sometimes, despite the risk, the most important thing is to seize the moment. Or whatever else you can grab.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  You know, the right guy won’t get you to change. He won’t subtly pressure you. He won’t tell you who you can and can’t talk to. He won’t hide the fact that you’re hanging out. He’s not gonna tell you you’re wrong for feeling; for being a girl. The right guy will show you off to his friends. He’ll take it as slow as you want. He’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable with. He’ll take you out to places, even if it’s just a fast food place or the store. He’ll actually sit through your stupid, girly Disney movies with you because he just wants to be with you. The right guy will come along someday, you just gotta tough it out and wait for him. But whatever you do, don’t settle for the wrong guy. You deserve so much more.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  One thing I’ve learned, that in the face of true love, you don’t just give up. Even if the object of your affection is begging you to.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  Sometimes you just need someone. Someone to make you smile when you’re sad, someone to tell you you’re beautiful, someone to look forward to seeing you every day, someone to call you every night, someone to say I love you and mean it. Sometimes you just need someone.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  About me? I’m a surrealist. I like everything all at once and hate it just as well. I like truth from all walks of media be it in music, books, photos whatever. I appreciate art and beauty. I appreciate realness. Nothing is sexier than being true to yourself. Vulnerability is sexy. And so is power. Intelligence is sexy. I like taboo; I like to keep people guessing. I like searching for some clarity in this beautiful crazy life. I like things that are a little off but I’m also a hard-core perfectionist. I laugh all the time and have one or two inner issues but who doesn’t? I’ve lived through it all and this is how I see things.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  Dreams are always crushing when they don’t come true. But it’s the simple dreams that are often the most painful because they seem to personal, so reasonable, so attainable. You’re always close enough to touch, but never close enough to hold and it’s enough to break your heart.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  You read “sorry, try again” off the inside of a bottle cap; story of your life. You never come first, you’re never the winner, you’re never the best. There’s always someone better. Maybe next time; you did your best. At least you tried. All these things are supposed to make you feel better, but it just reminds you that no matter how hard you try, how you gave it your all, you failed. You’ll never be good enough for him.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  • 4:10 pm
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