February 2, 2013

• Dance like Lady Gaga

  

  On the good days, I feel like I get it, like it all makes sense. I can stay in the moment, I don’t have to control everything in the future, and I believe everything is gonna work out fine. On the bad days I just want to grab the phone and start dialing numbers. I want to pull my hair and run through the streets screaming. But thanks to the people I’ve met in these rooms, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna make it through today.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  I delete numbers from my phone like I’m erasing them from my life. I get caught up with drama and I get so frustrated that I want to scream. I listen to sad music when I’m upset, because I know that whoever wrote the song, they were miserable once too. I’ve changed to please people, and I care too much about what people think of me. I talk too loud and I act like I’m five. I’m smart. I know when to say no, and I know what is best for me. I follow my heart instead of my head, and if you walk out of my life, I’ll tell you not to look back. I hold in my tears and hold my head up high, because I have more confidence than you’d think. I don’t think I’m too fat or too skinny. I don’t think I’m ugly or too perfect, either. I’ve been lead on by tens of guys, but I’m still strong. I don’t let things get the best of me. I’m not afraid to show people the real me, because I’m me, and if you don’t like it, walk out. Now.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  I feel like my life is so scattered right now. Like it’s all the small pieces of paper and someone’s turned on the fan. But, talking to you makes me feel like the fan’s been turned off for a little bit. Like things could actually make sense. You completely unscatter me, and I appreciate that so much.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  When someone took up all your thoughts and feelings for six and a half months straight it can take a while to get used to the emptiness when they’re gone. And that space will never completely fill again, because there’s no other person who will fit with you the way they did. They have that part of you, but you have a part of them too. The people who make enough of an impression will stay with you.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  Another empty promise, good intentions from the start. You failed to mention, our love would be this hard. I’m tired of talkin’, don’t have nothing left to say. Maybe sometime we’ll sift through the ashes one day. I can’t lean on you, cause I’ll fall right over. Can’t count on you, it doesn’t add up. I see we’re through and the truth is pretty sober. This is going no where, enough is enough.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  When people say friendships don’t last forever, they never met us. You’re my best friend and probably the only reason I am who I am today. You’ve helped me shape my character and become a better, stronger person. Only you know everything- i trust you with my whole life. Be strong, stay beautiful. I love you so much.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  Missing you gets easier everyday. Even though it’s one day longer since the last time I saw you, it’s one day closer to the next time I will.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  i believe that friends can last forever. i believe that friendships can go on without fights. i believe that friends are supposed to try their best to be there for the other. i believe that friends understand and trust each other. i believe that friends would choose you over their boyfriend. i believe that friends will never ignore the other. i believe that friends are open with each other. i believe that friends don’t lie to each other. i believe that friends won’t blame the other for something that wasn’t even their fault. i believe that friends trust what each other say more than other people. and i believe that friends love each other more than themselves.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  Shut up, wipe those tears from your eyes, print out a picture of him, and throw darts at it until there’s a hole in your fucking bedroom wall. Look in the mirror and scream until you can’t breathe. blast your favorite song and laugh. I want you to find yourself again. Because the girl I knew six months ago before she met that asshole who changed her temporarily used to not give a shit about what people said. He fucking destroyed you, and nobody messes with my friends, give me his number; his life is about to be hell.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  You’re different now, I could tell right away. You don’t care anymore. You live day to day. Drugs, sex and alcohol is all that matters to you. You had me, but you lost that too.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  • 5:13 pm
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